How many times have you engaged in locker room talk where women were discussed in degrading ways? Or listened but said nothing?
Had a friend treat his girlfriend/hook up/crush like trash, said nothing, and continued being friends with him? Or been that friend?
Overheard, or were in conversation with, male colleagues who made direct or inferring statements about female colleagues for traits such as “bitchy”, “ditzy”, “slutty” or “incompetent” behind their backs and agreed actively or disagreed passively? Or witnessed this in real-time to female colleagues and offered no backup? Knew a female colleague should have been involved in a decision or meeting, but joined in anyway, saying nothing?
How many times have you seen a woman being aggressively street harassed or just made uncomfortable at some rando’s unwanted attention and kept walking or looked down into your phone?
It's not about a few bad apples. It’s deeply ingrained socialized behavior (on an individual continuum, to be fair) that is systemically and institutionally reinforced. It’s literally part of the power structure. The air we breathe.
History shows us over and over again, that when marginalized people collectively say something is a thing, it has been a thing.
The sooner this is recognized, one can begin the work to unbias oneself, do whatever is needed to do build up capacity for growth — because awareness is painful and hard on egos and brains — , and gain the skills to show up ready to disrupt the status quo.